Season One, Episode Eight:
Ep 8: Rebuilding trust, why we need what we need, and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship
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Today we revisit the topics of NEEDS but this time we explore what actually drives our needs and what to do if we are facing a “Black Hole” of needs—needs that just never feel fully met!
We share a useful tool for tracing the issues that are triggering you in your life and relationships, down to the feelings, needs, and even below that to beliefs and worldviews driving them. And what does one do if they see that the worldview they are carrying is not what they want? What if your worldview has been colored by trauma or childhood wounds? What if your worldview is one that is distrusting and guarded? How can we intervene?
Trust is such a big issue for so many. Trusting others, trusting romantic relationships or spouses, or just distrusting the world through a persistent low-level anxiety. What do we do if we struggle with trust? Do we just force it with sheer will power? Live out the rest of our lives guarded, anxious, and vigilant? Or is there another way?
Lastly, we just touch on some concepts and tools for those who are in truly toxic relationships. Though we caution those who have trust issues to REALLY interrogate whether the issue is the other person or if they are just the world mirroring back to you the assumptions and beliefs that you already hold. Hope lies in the fact that often when we see why we are entangled in a particular dynamic and learn to unhook our part in it, a lot of magic can happen, including surprising outcomes that don’t always include separation.
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Need to follow along more closely? Get the transcript, download-ready here.